My wife recently passed me on a very interesting article about how to deal with angry work employees. Useful as the guidelines are, they ignore a critical point. Anger and ‘heated frustration’ emanates from several different points of contact in an organisation – the employee, the employer, the supplier, the client and who knows from where else.

My work as a business coach has led me to talk through a number of such situations in the past month or so. And yes, I also lost my cool for a moment with somebody. What can we do when faced with such a challenge?

Let me start with a big “no, no”. Do not be sarcastic nor mock. It is childish and unprofessional. They may deserve it, yet remember: At the end of the day, there is as situation that both of you want to resolve and assumedly end up on the same side.

Now for the big challenge, in two stages.

1. Try to find the patience and emotional effort to take a mental step back. This can be a big ask. For example, much of my work is in around the Jerusalem area in Israel, where the heat of Mediterranean summers can often fuel sweaty tensions.
2. And then, just ask what yourself what is the real story? Why are they angry? Is it what happened? Or are they actually cross with themselves? Maybe, you have forgotten to inform them about something. Is it something factual or a case of raw emotions? The list of possibilities can be long, but it is worth finding the actual answer…….for the sake of all.

My wife described one occasion where she simply listened out the complainant in front of her. During his forceful display of words, she realised that was important for him was not the facts, but protecting his status amongst his colleagues. She tactfully made sure he realized that this would be in tact, and then went ahead with her requests. He could than back down, and all left the room happy. Simple, no?