Ever sat in front of a supplier, when you are hit by that “yuck moment”. For all the great salesmanship, you suddenly realise that you are being smothered by meaningless empathy. Next thing you know, you give a slight uncontrollable shiver of the body.

Yet, many of us have also been on the other side of the table. The question remains: how can we win over that next potential client and without sounding equally apathetic to their plight?

Everywhere you turn, you can see failed attempts by people who should know better, trying to win us over.

• Turn on any TV advertisement and 90% are trying to capture our psyche. Almost humiliating.
• Politicians only remember to pitch to us once every four or so years, and so it is no wonder that the West is full of cynical democracies.
• When trying to rope in investors, it can sometimes feel that the gap is so wide between the two sides that they are from separate planets. And so on.

I have spent many mentoring and coaching sessions with business clients, who almost demand to know what is it that they can say that will excite the prospective bait. It is as if they are expecting me to hit on one word or phrase that will clinch their next big deal.

The truth is often very different. What our budding Prime Ministers, start-ups et al tend to forget is that selling is a process. It is developed over a time line, and takes both parties through a set number of stages.

One of the best descriptions of this approach has been crystalised in a new video from Jonathan Gabay, the author of a new book called Brand Psychology. (Disclosure: I know Jonathan personally). In the clip, Jonathan describes a four step process, which he has labeled ‘the hierarchy of needs’.

Essentially, the seller is required to build up a pyramid of four key emotions, and in the following order: belief, trust, faith, and hope. Without accepting these fundamentals, your prospective client is unlikely to sign up. They are unlikely to become a long-term revenue stream for you.