When hopes and dreams are dashed, they are often replaced by self-doubt, pessimism, accusations, and anger.

Thus wrote Dr. Robert Brooks in yet another excellent monthly blog. He considers the balance between being optimistic whilst having to consider the possibility of failure.

Brooks has long concentrated on the theme of resilience and how it can be developed in most of us from an early age. The key factor is to have at least one individual around us, who understands and actively supports our feelings.

So what happens if you miss out and enter adulthood without that security blanket? Many of my clients are entrepreneurs, and not just in the field of high-tech. And while I am no psychologist – I am a business mentor and coach, operating primarily in the Jerusalem area – it does not take me too long to assess if a new customer fits the “Brooks ticket”.

And I readily accept that even those people who are not business owners and maintain responsible positions of employment, they too have their setbacks. Can you prepare yourself for those disappointments?

The answer is obviously yes, every one in their own field of activity. However, Brooks offers up a more interesting question, one which is far more far pertinent to my line of work. Why do so many of us spend so much time working out what we will do if something might go wrong – thinking up layer upon layer upon layer of awkward scenarios?

It is almost as if we are encouraging the oedipus effect. Our negativity will ensure that bad things will happen. Alternatively, as Brooks states, we can be more aware of the possibility of ‘success’, a word that so many of my clients seem afraid to contemplate. “What we do have more control over than we realise is our attitude towards and response to those events”, which we cannot influence.

In other words, if something does go wrong, the default thinking should be that you probably handle it, even if that will not be a simple task.

But let me go further. I wish I had a dollar for the number of times people say to me: “What if such and such a bad thing happens”? It may. It should not be ignored. Without being naïve or dismissive, I often throw back a curve-ball and ask: “But what if it does not and what if you achieve your goal”.

I never cease to wonder how people seem so shocked and aghast about embracing the concept that they may do well.